Mangled Dreams

Sweeping the dust under the rug,
Rust on my metal heart,
Shotgun slug to my chest,
Believing the rainbows, but they always run away
Heart fluttering like a out of control balloon,
My dreams weren't shattered, they were mangled,
And my veins are tangled, a hell inside me,
Once was in heaven but I fell through the clouds,
Came to the Earth enveloped in a lightning bolt,
A comet, but I'm not the devil,
I'm normal as normal can be,
Looking for something to see, something other than black,
Tell me what colors are because I don't see them.
Red-the color of the blood that flooded from my chest,
Green-the color of the tree I cry under til I fell to sleep,
Blue-the color of my tears...
Colorblind, looked for the silver lining,
but it doesn't look silver it looks gray,
All the clouds are gray, where is the sun?
My dreams were mangled,
They were strangled,
Tried to find a escape, I thought I escaped,
Died then when my corpse lied there I got raped,
Used up, as the life evaporated from my eyes,
Razor-blades of grass pierce my skin, like the words you threw at me,
Hearing the screams burst from my wounded chest like a grenade,
Self-destructing my sanity and normality,
Look at the clouds of which I used to rest my head,
And now I see that my dreams are dead,
And the clouds were never there,
Waving the reality of this world goodbye,
Until one day, it destroyed my one love,
Resurrecting countless ghosts from my mind,
Controlling the past, future, & present.
Until I got a present, a dream.
Except, I couldn't afford this,
My twisted being wouldn't see this,
When all I saw was a nightmare,
Staring through a peephole to see that wasn't me,
It was someone else who brought this on me,
Who? An antagonist to my story,
We all have a story,
What is your antagonist?
Small or big, its all the same,
They all weigh people down,
Ozone, entrapped in this hell,
But death is the key,
The key of being set free,
There is a paradise beyond the fire,
Something you may not see,
But you have to believe,
I have hope, even though my dreams have been mangled.
There are clouds in this broken city.

Reality Crash

Wish I could take this car miles away,
Driving on the vacant freeway desperately searching for real faces,
And a world not populated with false prophets & salesmen,
Selling hearts at a discounted price, buy one get one free,
Could you but one for me? Because I can't afford it.
Tried flying, but my feet are cemented to this ground,
Tried seeing the red light, but my vision is a blur from restlessness,
Found comfort, confined to you just like the cement under my feet,
And when you left you stomped on my jagged pieces,
Ears surrendered to you like a paramedic listening to a dying man's pulse,
Heart failure.
But it isn't game over for me, I paid a price, and now I'm getting a refund.
Never liked the games you'd play with my heart.
Behind your smile there are poisonous tears, separated by caged bars,
And I donated jars of blood that were poured out from the inside,
But it never was enough to quench your constant thirst.
Afterward,
I hung my intestines up to dry, as you abused me.
It feels like my ribcage is inverted & attached to my spine with the skin tightly wrapping,
Some ribs piercing through the epidermis layer.
This is my reality crash. I choked on what was true,
and it: "you intentionally hurt me",
Which for me is nothing new.

Eyes on a Page

Staring into white pupils, in between the margins,
Seeing the past, future, & present.
With words meant to make a image,
As visions sway into the mind like leaves in the wind,
Catching leaves in a net of creativity,
Silently the senses drift from reality.
Trying to find the words that I have never said or wrote,
Before I leave--nothing left but people's memories & pictures,
Or will the I be like the leaves I don't possess?
Here then gone the next moment.
Dismal like a black circle in a squared white room.
Assume, I failed the mission of life,
Or did I go out with a big bang that making the world theorize?
Because sometimes I feel all I have is a pen and paper,
While my heart remains lying against my sleeve, but distant like the frostbitten mountains outlining the horizon.
Eyes glued to destiny.
Those eyes on the page.
That look at me in happiness, but also rage.
in mourning, but also chipper.
Summoning me in the morning, but also the evening.
My world is my stage, and either way I have to perform.
But will I be a actor or will I be real?

Because the eyes you don't see, but you hear,
you don't feel them, but you feel me,
you don't know me, but you do.

Shrieking white noises in my earlobes, vibrating my veins,
Like a distorted T.V. with a blend of colorful & dull lights projecting across my face.

Blinking.

Flickering the V.H.S. tapes of the past.

Blinking like the eyes on the page.

In Loving Memory

Remembering your face for the last time before departing,
Seeing my life crash in slow motion, but almost sudden,
Wiping the tears that stained my cheek, and lifting my overburdened head,
Only five years old, remembering the past like a vivid nightmare,
From this moment on I will not have my brother,
I'll have to walk through my life without him.

Watching me self-destruct my very being and throw my sweet dreams out a broken window,
As I witnessed your heart attack which suffocated the life from your lungs, turning you pale until your heart stopped,
And my best friend, my brother, never saw another day,
Why couldn't you trade me places? Why do I have a healthy heart?
Why couldn't I save you?

Although I will see him again, my heart has never been the same,
Electric fences were built & I remain hidden behind a barricade of memories,
Afraid of relationships, fearful of losing again,
Your face has been carved out of my heart of stone, a sculpture,
As a constant reminder of a loved one I lost.

As for the old Italian man who taught me so much wisdom & maturity-
Your eyes were worn and could only see out of the corners,
Taking tubs of medication to soothe the ammonia inside your lungs,
But still cheerful like a child on christmas morning,
Your partially blind eyes still sparkled with a lively spirit, until one fateful day,
The Lord called him home too.
"Why did my great grandpa have to leave?" My heart still questions...

What ever happened to my cousin's brother Drake?
You were laid back and open-minded, loving everyone even though you didn't know them,
Sharing memories of laughing without a care in the world,
As the cancer infested your bones and swept through your body like a colony of ants,
Eating your insides away to nothing,
Left with your lifeless corpse and the echoes of your happiness.
Why did you have to go?

Though I know I will see you three again my heart still heavy, remembering and left with a bittersweet taste in my mouth,
Forever your closed eyes will hold the memory,
Enclosed in a unfinished letter, unwritten story,
Cut off but will one day see again,
To live the life I was meant to live,
One day, but I won't die with you from the inside out,
Today I won't die a gory death,
For this is in loving memory.

If I Give You My Heart...

There are so many false prophets & anti-christs,
They all disguised like a ballroom mascarade,
Even their eyes don't appear to have color,
Glaring, with no emotion...
Piercing like a bullet to my skin,
The ice is wearing thin,
Time isn't waiting, even when you're dying.
Reckless, relentless, breaking my determination,
The fire smothered until restlessness is all I feel.
Please don't play chords on my heart for the strings are weak,
And my voice is too hoarse to scream let alone speak,
Weeks boomeranging again, with a constant cycle,
Expecting to get better the next time around,
This poem contains my heart, each word is yours,
It is the most precious thing I have,
I give it to you,
I know we will fight & maybe see the darker side,
But if we confide in each other like a invincible fortress,
Where the cannonballs of life won't even knock on our door...
And we are the only soldiers standing ready to fight.
For words are our weapons, stronger than anything.
But it's up to you,
Committing, even when the smoke clears-
Would you give your words to me?
Would you give me your heart?

Lively Hands

There are hands that move around,
With sounds that tick then tock,
Every man will fall to this,
Every second we will eventually miss.
Those lively hands rotating in circles,
The sands of life's hourglass streaming away,
Time ticking away, we can't get back,
Today is the day,
To say all the words you want to say,
As time melts away; fast like a ice cube in a microwave,
You can save all the money in the world,
But you can't save time,
You get one life, once chance to shine,
Choose to be a star or maybe become the sun,
But one thing is for certain, your time will come,
When your time is done, and they close the curtain.

Robot equals Human

Everyone now a days has such a skeptical point of view,
Hiding behind a wall of uncertainty from everything they knew,
But there are the very few that stand unshaken to negativity,
The news seems to only tell of only the bad news, with a chance of clear skies,
Our world is infested with flies but it doesn't mean we need to exaggerate the story,
So what happens when all the positive is gone?
There will be no rags to riches, And no fame or glory,
Fashionable to be pessimistic with no song...
when everything is wrong, No happiness.
Just robots as the majority, more than human, with circuits tangled like knotted spagetti,
Soon our young will be store bought then mangled to the truth,
Counterfeited lies, Finding out that we are disguised as life,
Realizing that the tools we carry are our antagonist, our knife,
Sold for parts then shipped off to a land, as we notice we're artificial,
Told to focus, but programmed to fail,
Assuming the worst from the start,
To find that we lost what makes us human, Our heart.

Closer (Continued)

Kane Nomed was Ezekiel’s roommate and best friend, they are inseparable which causes them to never capitulate even in the harshest times. They both woke up in their pretty messy dorm room which was more like an apartment. It had more than enough space; with a kitchen, bathroom, living room, and bedroom to share. First, Ezekiel woke up with his eyes blurred from the light gleaming through the window behind the television like a ray of fireflies. Eyes shut tight to avoid contact but sluggishly struggling to lift himself from the couch because his arms were still weak and his legs still numb. So he rolls his body off the couch onto the ground almost on their dog Rocky which was ironically a Boxer Terrier. His nerves crawled up his spine like army ants as the numbness evaporated and he arose with the sun then made his way towards the bathroom. He took a quick glance at the mirror then brushed his teeth. And washed his face that had only one small pimple on his forehead, which never really irritated him unless he focused on it.
Kane then appeared in the mirror which Ezekiel saw in his peripheral vision. It gave him a startle and Kane a chuckle as Ezekiel reacted.
Kane then blurted out: “Skittish much?”
Ezekiel replied angrily: “No, but you sure sneaked up on me.” While slugging Kane in the arm.
Kane didn’t budge. Didn’t even flinch. His arm was rock solid just like the rest of his body. He was definitely uglier than Ezekiel but he stronger too. Ezekiel then ignored his friend who was now exiting the room.
Ezekiel snap and pointed: “That’s right just turn walk away.” He smirked at his own tasteless humor as he finished his business in the bathroom. Kane just kept walking until he got to their room and got dressed. Ezekiel slipped on his jeans that he folded the day before and then threw on his collared black shirt while entering an arm into each sleeve. He strode for the front door, as Kane rampages down the hallway to make it to the door first like two football players in a race to get the ball on a fumble. They both have their hands on the doorknob as they argue immaturely about who won and who didn’t. After they both settle the score, they exit and continue down a long hallway with a bunch of doors; more dorm rooms that look similar to Ezekiel’s and Kane’s.
The hallway of dorm rooms then venture off into a staircase at the end either lead down or up. They both go down and head for the café area of restraunts where they both usually eat breakfast. The place they ate was Elmer’s. They then stormed out the café campus doors towards the other building across the street with full stomach. Ezekiel made it to class fifteen minutes early but Kane made it just on time because he left his Advanced Math book back at their room. Kane showed up and the math teacher at Michigan State College: Mr. Hemington, just before he was going to give his lecture on the quadratic formula and how useful it is.
It was a normal day at Michigan State College just like the day before. It was their last quarter until they graduated from college, Ezekiel going into philosophy and Kane become a police chief. Kane always bragged that he would have the title: Chief Nomed which had a good ring to it. Anyways, the class ended and then the teacher, Mr. Hemington realized three of his best students were missing. Alarmed at this news he tries to search for them.
The teacher asks everyone around the campus the same question: “Have you seen Gil, Drake, and Mary?” while pointing to the attendance list with concern glimmering in his pupils at every answer he got. Some people didn’t know who they were, others said they hadn’t seen them for days, but most just ignored him like they didn’t even hear him. Disturbed at his results, he returns back to his apartment complex a couple blocks down the street as he’s driving he tries to remember the last time he saw his students. Once he arrives home he for the most part forgets the students concluding they probably dropped out and transferred to another college. But then suddenly when he steps into the kitchen he finds his students beheaded on the floor covering it with a pool of blood. Then blood smeared letters on the walls that said: “I’m closer than you think I am.” With yellow stick notes covering the bodies, written in red ink: “Sincerely, Nightmare.” across every one. The teacher panicked and screamed in sheer terror and ran back out the door looking for someone to help him.
Mr. Hemington reached into his pocket anxiously and dialed “9-1-1”.
A female voice answered: “Hello, do you have an emer…?”
Mr. Hemington stutters in anxiety: “H-hello, i-is thi-s-s the the police?”
Female replies calmly: “No, do you need to reach th..?”
Mr. Hemington interrupts and answers: “Yes! Yes! Patch me through to the police please. It’s an emergency!!”
Female says with a slight tone of stress: “Okay, I have to put you on hold in order to…”
Mr. Hemington interrupts again: “Just do it! Fast!”
Mr. Hemington held the phone waiting for a voice to answer, the “jazzy-hold-music” was playing right now. Truth be told, Kane answered the phone (it was his job to write down the incidents and inform the captain).
Kane said with urgency in his voice: “Who is this? And what seems to be the problem?”
“Mr. Hemington, and there is a killer named Nightmare who beheaded three of my students.” As he replied calmer than before; Kane’s voice was a slight relief to this tragedy.
“Mr. Hemington?! This is Kane Nomed, I’ll inform the captain right away!!”
The hold music came on again and time passed by like seasons until finally Kane’s voice came back and he said firmly: “Wait calmly sir, the authorities will help with your dilemma.”

Pain & Sorrow

Two punks that go hand in hand,
knowing these two like the land I live,
The friends I regret having around,
About as discomforting as a hangnail,
Found them and never lost sight of them,
Dying on the inside like a salted snail,
Meant to fail from the beginning.
So I'll have to sail away in this world,
In the world of a fantasy untold,
Sold my heart for someone that left,
And at that moment my world folded,
Sent and went to follow you,
Follow you like a disciple in a world surrounded by false prophets,
The willow tree out back cries when I tell them of my friends,
Pain & Sorrow.
And as I tell it my stories the trunk collapses,
And I am left alone,
No one to hear my voice,
No one to give me a choice,
But I have to live, for my friends Pain & Sorrow.

Mistaken Identities

Looking in the mirror, not seeing my face,
Just a mask no flesh in the reflecting space,
Must I have to take it off to lace together who I am?
Trust the person in front of me to take control?
Yes, I have to or I'll have to pay a endless toll,
Peeling the plastic back like a disgusting scab,
Dab your feet in the waters of falseness won't make you a facade,
Stab the masks who aren't you otherwise you will find you are a fraud,
As people we all have our hidden agendas and mistaken identities,
But why? The insecurity has left us shaken with the fear,
Fear of being revealed for who we really are,
Far from truth running around looking for some answers,
Last time I checked I wasn't democratic or republican,
I was actually none of them, just living amongst the silent majority,
Making my day and getting paid, Sliding by on minimum wage,
When the only thing I knew about myself was my age,
Left alone on this stage creeping with critics,
Afraid of revealing the scar that lies beneath the plastic, the skin,
We should be hated for our vomit we spew all over each other, the sin,
that has fermented our nature since the beginning,
We are the very nightmares we create,
Ironic, we see our own fate behind our eyes,
Every vampire, werewolf, zombie. It's us, that lies beneath that mask,
Just as revolting as the obscene creatures we make, pass the flask,
And celebrate our distorted past that takes way from the real task at hand,
We have to stand together to destroy the evil that plagues the world,
Throw down our mistaken identities and our hidden agendas,
And give it to a savior, who stitches and mends us together.

Hotter Side of the Back Burner

Wanting things to be different from where they are now,
Ignoring the "stop" & "do not enter" signs,
Tolerating & always reading in between the lines,
Trying not to focus on the shadow that is always following me, just like you did,
The thing that haunts me is not the pain but you,
Not the circumstances or reasons, Not the times or seasons,
I just loved you for who you were, a treason that isn't easy broken,
Your skin was a habit, a drug that has the worst side effects,
But it seems to me that I am receiving the hotter side of the back burner,
Getting the short side of a long stick,
Until I was burnt to a crisp & falling off a cliff.
Something slithered in my veins when this happened,
Not the emotion of betrayal not even anger, just amazement,
As harsh as your words are, I stood back surprised that you took it that far.
I don't know where you went but I'm seeing the lines again,
No signs, No restrictions, No looking back,
I'll turn the tides.

In the Claws of the Enemy

I search for the words to find, but they never came,
I try to fix the past, but things couldn't stay the same.
This town has been burned to the ground,
Where everything makes a sound of fear,
Peoples voices fill the air like the missiles that came at me from every direction,
Even the night isn't still, sleeping isn't a option,
Having to keep the will to survive in this world full of demons,
In the corner of my mind, confiding in doubts & regrets,
barricading, waiting for a savior to rescue me from the war,
grey clouds spread across the horizon like a vast ocean, the sun not even flickering
I've been injured and tortured by the enemy, wolves rip my skin like paper,
The agony beckoned the thought of death, the thought of losing.
Choosing my own fate, I go after the enemy with my heavy heart.
Rage wild-fired within me, consuming my persecutors as they were dust,
The sky now looked like red smoke, Oblivion was rupturing,
As all hell broke loose and the rapture was the only thing peering through the amber shaded sky,
I swung my arm at a demon's face, hooking it clean in the jaw as the blood flooded from its mouth,
eyes shot to me suddenly, unnerved to the pain, the demon howled like the wolves from earlier, back arched over as it tackled me to the ground,
managing to grab the rock next to me I plod it into one of its eyes,
earnestly in pain now it yelps and more of them come,
I stood back on my feet as they circled around me, taunting me,
Fist cringing at the sight of them all,
One jumps at me as I reacted to uppercut it in the throat, it gagged itself to death as the blood streamed forcefully out its nose and eyes,
They just keep coming now and I finally surrender in the claws of the enemy.
As a chandler of light gleams through the gloomy red clouds,
The beam of light zooms at the arm of the demon that's holding me, which instantly burns to ashes,
Freed from the clutches of the creature I find myself running,
Trying to get away but their speed is increasing, and energy unhindered,
the light then glimmers through the clouds as it lifts me up like a tractor beam,
I get engulfed by the clouds which I still reside, because when I look down all I see is demons crawling around like insects feeding on everyone & everything,
The light is my savior, I'll follow it through every door it takes me.

Lost in your Lips

Kissed you so hard, I lost every breath of mine,
I was blind to the truth, and thought everything was fine,
Hugged you so hard, I blinked then lost you the very next second,
So close to my heart it pierced a hole that is nonrefillable,
A complete eye sore you are, Like a cavity that won't ever go away,
And even though you're away it punctured my skin so badly, That you are in my skin, a sliver.
Your words are like needles injecting into my fragile heart,
Kissed you so tenderly, I got lost in your lips,
Hugged you so softly, I got lost in your arms,
My world flips when I don't have you around,
The harms of life never caused me strife until I lost you,
But life moves on and tonight, I miss you more than any moan can ever express,
Stayed by the phone like a sick man waiting for the cure,
Laid down crying rivers for you, Fell in and floated down stream,
Off a waterfall and into the rapids of despair and loss.
I was caught in the undertow and dragged down out to sea,
Sank to the bottom like a ton of bricks,
As the sunshine slowly disappeared from my face,
And the darkness was the space I stupidly dug myself into,
The space up top was nice and you were looking down on me in pity,
I would part the sea to get to where you are but you are far away from wanting that,
You dipped your feet in then ran away, annoyed and afraid,
As I laid searching for your eyes in the clams' pearls, But I tried in vain,
Looked for your smile under each rock, while it slowly drove me insane.
I held my breath counted to three,
To hear the words that get me every time,
All I wanted to hear was that you loved me.
It was ran through my veins like a poison from the most toxic jellyfish,
Stinging every inch of my body, Until my corpse lied underneath a pile of seaweed,
Then I bleed until it scars as it develops into a tough callous,
I must find fortitude.
Tonight I am above you looking down,
Tonight I am free from your watery grave you made for me,
Tonight the fight is mine as you can see and I am not your slave,
I have the heart in my chest that I so foolishly gave.

Behind A Windshield

Looking out and receiving no encounter,
The room shook inside until the walls slowly crumbled,
I stumbled on the thought of loosing you,
Like a vivid nightmare where the killer is always me, & there is nothing I can do.
I stared at the ceiling to pass time which only brought the tears to my eyes,
Because when I looked in your eyes they were inviting like home with doors open wide,
Found shelter behind your eyes until I was hopeless like a child in a house full of ghosts,
The walls came alive which swallowed me up, While I gazed out the window to find you,
The hosts in the house were only strangers to me, pretended to be my friend then stabbed my heart in the end,
Bridges can't mend if they are already burned to the ground,
So you turned your back and hung me upside down drowning in my tears,
Set me on fire then fed the flames with the fears of loosing you,
I stayed by your side and held your hand, which is now incinerated, Like all the love I had for you,
Up in flames, Looking outside,
You were inside and you left me in my own bloody mess,
Expecting me to clean the situation and sweep my heart away with all the rags of the past,
You left so fast you didn't even showed me you cared,
Just stared out the window like a crooked toothed madman with a yellow smirk on your face,
Yep you sure fooled me in the first place, What a clever one you are...
Leading me to a trap that decided my own fate, I took the bait,
While you tore every limb off then unloaded the machine gun to my chest,
I gave you my best, you left me the worst feeling,
And as I was bleeding profusely from every angle, I told you: "I love you" with a sincere smile,
Asked you if you wanted to stay a while,
Then at that moment you shot me in the head, Brains scattered like glass on the stained red grass,
Leaving me dead.

Seasons went by like days and my body slowly decayed at each rise and fall of the sun;

As my body laid there like a chopped down tree, my skin was the leaves which were falling off,
Revealing my organs and the rest of my insides that still remained,
I was still left with my sincere smile as my pink lips faded to a ghostly pale color,

The snow fell, which transformed into leaves, which transitioned to tears upon my face like the rain that descends often, But there's nothing left to do.
And now my mission is done I did all I could do,
My heart was the only thing that stayed never deceasing to stop pumping for you,

Thump! Thump! Thump!

Jumping off the ground like a bunny with springs under each foot,
Galloping at a speed of a billion horses, waiting, wishing,
For the girl I love the most to look out the window and come out,
Behind a windshield, will you stay there?
Or do you care for me? Then stay a while and talk with me....
With my dying breath I say: "I love you" again with a sincere smile.

Closer (Preface)

CreeeAAK! -Bam!
-The door slams in the darkness as the figure peers through the shadows. Its heart is slowed after a long days work and is shedding its drenched coat, it sluggishly makes its way to the couch while dropping its belongings relentlessly. The couch is occupied by the cat but reacts and flees from being sat on retreating to the rug next the fireplace. Then what appeared to be a person slips onto the couch with a heavy sigh and effortlessly clicks on the television which is two feet from his face. His features come into the television's light; this broad shouldered, thick jawed, giant standing at roughly 6' 3", his eyes were icy blue with a sloped nose and rough around every edge. His name is Ezekiel and the face everyone knows: the stereotypical average blond haired, blue eyed American with a job but feels like he isn't ready to raise a family, besides he's only 22 years old. Ezekiel's vision is on the T.V. but his head is bobbing & thumping against the armrest in restlessness. And while his eyes shut to the light as his roommate enters the room almost silently except the quiet humming; it sounded like Mozart. Ezekiel hears him humming but isn't alarmed he figured it was him then drifted back into a hard slumber, this time he was snoring louder than his roommates humming. His roommate unnervingly finds his way to the bedroom where both of their beds were located, just at the end of the dark hallway. Ezekiel's roommate eased his way to the room then went to bed. Almost appearing to wait for someone.

Crossroads of Eternity

It's been happening since the beginning.
Once we were innocent & shameless,
Then went into he world,
The darkness was unknown and the ugly monsters never showed their faces,
Until now the darkness flowed around us like a flood,
the blood gushes from the festering wounds.
It swept our feet from underneath us while our demons dragged us down,
We have to learn to drown them.
Their stare burns with a hateful passion that stings like a thousand bees to my soul,
Their faces chard black with the flesh peeling back.
They're raiding our homes, Grinding our bones.
Murdering & torturing,
Anguish appearing across all the victims,
We were captives, prisoners of war,
Controlled like a machine, programmed to not let our heart soar.
They tore my dreams to pieces,
As we escaped through the seams of reality,
Because reality is-nothing is as it seems,
Everything you see will collapse and shatter,
So is this reality, No I don't believe so,
It's just the crossroads of eternity.

The Daily Grind

We’ve all been here before,

The door is closed to the things that are bad to us,

Let this be a example,

I took the first bus away from my broken heart that was trampled on,

Never realizing I was going away from a part of me.

The door is the daily grind of life,

Everything that causes strife enough to close our doors,

The wound that turned to a sore,

And every sore it callouses and hardens,

Against all the things that draw you back.

The sack of burdens you drag, as every day goes by.

All those shores of the past, that left you going away with a cast,

All those people you label as an outcast.

It cripples our creativity,

And grows our negativity instead, Like pale skin across a dead man.

We kick the can and move on, Waiting for a clan that fits our description,

But in the end wearing a mask, Finding a task,

Like a certain seashell on a empty beach,

When we find one that doesn’t fit the one we want,

We throw it away with a nonchalant embrace, Without a trace.

Then when we pick up the “right one”,

We close the doors to all the other ones.

Because the daily grind, is the only shells we find.

We are looking for the norm not the storms that make life shake,

We have to break the door in order to open our minds,

And open up the blinds of your house to let it all in,

Then we might find something, If we sleuth the pursuit of-

What isn’t the daily grind.
The truth isn't the daily grind.

The Last Poem

Right now I'm confused & heartbroken to the truth,
It's such a shame that we ended up this way,
I can't tell which direction is
up, down, left, right. I look but there is no sight of you,
No girl ever took my heart galaxies away, like a rocket ship,
Launching every time when we kiss,
But this time it was a failure to launch and my heart was the only casualty.

It was no accident, you shot me down and burned the ashes,
Once you burned the ashes you drowned each one until evaporating into nothing,
The outcome was catastrophic, as you turned and walked away,
I tried everything to make you stay but you condemned it, Like a expired appalling fruit.

If this is the last poem I will write to you,
I want you to know I forgive you, And no matter what you do,
I'm here for you.
This is for you not for anyone else,
Because the times we shared were great,
And if I could be straight with you,
Know that if I had three wishes they would be for you to come back,
But for once words are not enough to convince you,
So I love you even though you made my world black & white,
Decembers will never be the same, They will be grayer than usual,
And October will always be darker, the moonlight will never be bright enough.

I thought I was tough but the heart in my chest seems to be as brittle as glass,
In this situation, I don't know if the glass is half empty or half full,
I'm looking at it from the top but the future is appearing dull.
If you don't want to stay a while,
I won't put you through a trial, (even though I can tell your in denial)
So even though I'd travel every miles in the ocean to get to you,
And it's hard to see the light, and chances are I won't;
But I love you despite my thoughts and the circumstances.

Hip Like A Hypocrite

Today, Heroes are hard to find,
You can't find them in a cereal box anymore,
They are all people who have a closed door to a open world,
In my eyes, I mostly see the stuck-ups who are deaf & blind,
But that's not what defines a hero.
They are trendy but yet unhappy,
Looking for a hero and some sense of life,
Celebrities mixed with the rich & famous,
Fear mixed with greed & insecurity.
In the end, Their all hip like a hypocrite,
Always trying so hard to fit in,
Searching for hope & importance like diamonds in a world full of bronze,
They're climbing the corporate ladder with desperation for success,
While slowly being revealed it's going no where,
Like a merry-go-round, A constant cycle.
The corporate ladder is a full hive of toe jam,
Ironically rotting in a hell of their own making, fueled by motives of self-medication.
Trading their hearts for satisfaction but really getting nothing in the end, Fooled to believe the lie.
Climbing the ladder of success:
Looking down & crashing to the ground like a thousand plates-

CRASH!

The cement cracking their craniums & hearts until the pulse is at a stall,
Climbing the ladder of success, and finding out that this is all?
Their hip like a hypocrite,
And yes, the chip on their shoulders are self-pity,
Going through the world without a purpose,
It seems to me that their lives are less than worthless,
They get their satisfaction then leave with a bitter taste,
Amazing how their talents turned out to be such a waste,
I believe they're not helpless though,
There has to be a way to show.

Ex's & Oh's

We all make mistakes, it's something that is familiar to us all,
We fall then pick ourselves back up with some sense of benefit of doing so,
But in the end you may not get what you want,
Because a voice is screaming: "No!" like trumpets blasting in your head,
Instead of living life for yourself, do it for others because in the end your going to whined up dead.
Life's full of ex's & oh's, and fingers will demand results,
It can be dull & cruel sometimes, humbling bring you to knees in despair,
There is good in the world but it's not detectable by sense.
We can't taste contentment, food's flavor never lasts long enough,
Our ears can't hear perfection, the notes are always bent,
Each finger will never touch the skin of grace,
And eyes can't picture the amazing face of righteous,
We are all tools of something beyond us.

Vurnerablility & The Child

We have to be children,
No matter where we are or where we've been,
Careless and blameless with no sight of sin.
Open to when we're not just okay,
Not a facade at the end of the day,
Vulnerable to the world,
Not cynics in this battlefield.
Or sealed to our own fate,
But if we bust the gate and find a way,
And say what's on our hearts and not whats on our mind,
We may find a child who is shivering from the loneliness,
And suffocating from a lack of understanding.
Why are we so focused on invulnerability? The strongest?
'Cause no one here is better than the rest, there is only one best,
So why do we pretend and make it's something that it's not,
Was it structure and organization that caused our downfall?
It made our imaginations sink like a rock in the sea,
Our scars calloused and construct demons that control who we are,
We wear masks to disguise who is really inside,
And who is that face?
A child slowly growing paler and slipping away.
So close your eyes and slip into your happy existence,
And let your ignorance and anguish keep you warm,
Bless the people that mourn, but it's so foreign.
Count your fortune and stay content, Under circumstances,
And mount your hope and dreams on this one life,
Then be disappointed because this isn't real life,
Strive to become the best, And hope.
Like a dog hopes for it's owner to throw a stick,
Prepare then be disappointed.
Be content and unprepared, Like a child,
And you will see that the world isn't at all what it seems.
Through the eyes of a child.

Running Through a Mine Field

Have you been uncertain where you stand?
You feel like an immigrant in an unknown land,

Lost, and slipping into the quicksand,

Screaming but it doesn't seem to make a sound,

And every mistake you made keeps you bound.

You feel like your running through a mine field,

Never knowing if the very ground will sustain the explosion,

And when will the pain stop and if your voice will hold out.

Putting my love on a shelf or ripping off each one of my limbs,

Which one is worse?

With my heart on the line, I gave you my last breath,

But you thought of only yourself, Without a sign of hope.

So instead put a rope around my neck and choke me until I shout,

Tell me what this life is about anyways, Because when I look around,

I see a war-torn city with bombs sounding off, one by one,

As the smoke rises with the sun black is all I see, even when the day just begun.

Everyday I feel like like I'm running through a mine field,

Scrambling to survive another night,

Not knowing where I'm headed or where to turn,

But I swear I found something that is worth the fight,

And everyday I learn more and more.

With that knowledge I find the door of escape is one step closer,

I found-

I'm just a musician not the composer of a perfect melody,

I'm a puzzle piece of a much bigger picture, But I came from a nobody.

And You made me something, Not a person adding stricture to this confused reality,

Because You chose life for me instead of being another fatality.

You filled that void, the wasteland that infected my restless soul,

And surged Your life through mine like a million volts,

You revived me when my pulse was dull.

Now everything is fine.

Competition of Voices

Raining sweat out of each pore,
Lightning storms flash in my mind,
Like flashbang grenades from the past.
Blinding & bring tears flowing from each eye,
I can't see the sky, It all blurred and my fears cloud them.
Sometimes I feel like a amature in a room of professionals,
Everyones so loud and overwhelming at times,
We are in a competition of voices, In a enormous crowd,
But it is the choices we make that set us apart.
So start to make a gash in the world or just leave a small scratch,
No ones better than anyone else no matter how well you match up to peoples' expections,
Don't burn your relations with your loved ones for a place of security.
'Cause in the end friends are all there are.

Would you be satisfied if armagedon happened right now?

Shorthanded Love

Vengance motivated by a obscure past,
With repentance that will never last.
You confided in your fears & doubts,
As you spoon-feed me your shorthanded love,
Giving me a push & a shove,
Ranting & Raving over my incompedence,
Wanting independence,
While remenents of my heart lies in the wake of destruction.
There is a obstruction it's clotting each vein like plugs in a sink.
Until the beating slows to the pace of a slug. I can't think.
So I ripped my infested heart covered with maggots from the past, Dug a endless hole.

Buried it underneath a infinite amount of dirt and rocks,
Populated by the shorthanded venom, Sufficating from the hurt.

I left it alone....Just like you left me alone.

Your kisses engrave my mind,
Inducing a intoxicating headache, Without a medication.

Your still here or are you, I can't tell if its real or fake.

But it doesn't matter, you'd rather doubt than trust,
So leave if you must, With grace like a dove,
But I will never forget your shorthanded love.
Swimming in a sea of bitterness & hate,
When I found me washed ashore.

Trying to find the heart I misplaced.

Where did I put it?
The words traced through my mind like a pencil.

Disoriented from the chaos in my brain,
A blurred image peers through the black, like I was just reborn,
It's my heart's grave, I sworn to myself.
Shovling the dirt & rocks away that remained like the ancient scars of yesterday,
I sweep the reminding rubble away, with my hand which are wounded and swollen,
But my heart wasn't there! I have to get back what you stolen.

Crossroads of Eternity

It's been happening since the beginning.
Once we were innocent & shameless,
Then went into he world,
The darkness was unknown and the ugly monsters never showed their faces,
Until now the darkness flowed around us like a flood,
the blood gushes from the festering wounds.
It swept our feet from underneath us while our demons dragged us down,
We have to learn to drown them.
Their stare burns with a hateful passion that stings like a thousand bees to my soul,
Their faces chard black with the flesh peeling back.
They're raiding our homes, Grinding our bones.
Murdering & torturing,
Anguish appearing across all the victims,
We were captives, prisoners of war,
Controlled like a machine, programmed to not let our heart soar.
They tore my dreams to pieces,
As we escaped through the seams of reality,
Because reality is-nothing is as it seems,
Everything you see will collapse and shatter,
So is this reality, No I don't believe so,
It's just the crossroads of eternity.