Mangled Dreams

Sweeping the dust under the rug,
Rust on my metal heart,
Shotgun slug to my chest,
Believing the rainbows, but they always run away
Heart fluttering like a out of control balloon,
My dreams weren't shattered, they were mangled,
And my veins are tangled, a hell inside me,
Once was in heaven but I fell through the clouds,
Came to the Earth enveloped in a lightning bolt,
A comet, but I'm not the devil,
I'm normal as normal can be,
Looking for something to see, something other than black,
Tell me what colors are because I don't see them.
Red-the color of the blood that flooded from my chest,
Green-the color of the tree I cry under til I fell to sleep,
Blue-the color of my tears...
Colorblind, looked for the silver lining,
but it doesn't look silver it looks gray,
All the clouds are gray, where is the sun?
My dreams were mangled,
They were strangled,
Tried to find a escape, I thought I escaped,
Died then when my corpse lied there I got raped,
Used up, as the life evaporated from my eyes,
Razor-blades of grass pierce my skin, like the words you threw at me,
Hearing the screams burst from my wounded chest like a grenade,
Self-destructing my sanity and normality,
Look at the clouds of which I used to rest my head,
And now I see that my dreams are dead,
And the clouds were never there,
Waving the reality of this world goodbye,
Until one day, it destroyed my one love,
Resurrecting countless ghosts from my mind,
Controlling the past, future, & present.
Until I got a present, a dream.
Except, I couldn't afford this,
My twisted being wouldn't see this,
When all I saw was a nightmare,
Staring through a peephole to see that wasn't me,
It was someone else who brought this on me,
Who? An antagonist to my story,
We all have a story,
What is your antagonist?
Small or big, its all the same,
They all weigh people down,
Ozone, entrapped in this hell,
But death is the key,
The key of being set free,
There is a paradise beyond the fire,
Something you may not see,
But you have to believe,
I have hope, even though my dreams have been mangled.
There are clouds in this broken city.

Reality Crash

Wish I could take this car miles away,
Driving on the vacant freeway desperately searching for real faces,
And a world not populated with false prophets & salesmen,
Selling hearts at a discounted price, buy one get one free,
Could you but one for me? Because I can't afford it.
Tried flying, but my feet are cemented to this ground,
Tried seeing the red light, but my vision is a blur from restlessness,
Found comfort, confined to you just like the cement under my feet,
And when you left you stomped on my jagged pieces,
Ears surrendered to you like a paramedic listening to a dying man's pulse,
Heart failure.
But it isn't game over for me, I paid a price, and now I'm getting a refund.
Never liked the games you'd play with my heart.
Behind your smile there are poisonous tears, separated by caged bars,
And I donated jars of blood that were poured out from the inside,
But it never was enough to quench your constant thirst.
Afterward,
I hung my intestines up to dry, as you abused me.
It feels like my ribcage is inverted & attached to my spine with the skin tightly wrapping,
Some ribs piercing through the epidermis layer.
This is my reality crash. I choked on what was true,
and it: "you intentionally hurt me",
Which for me is nothing new.

Eyes on a Page

Staring into white pupils, in between the margins,
Seeing the past, future, & present.
With words meant to make a image,
As visions sway into the mind like leaves in the wind,
Catching leaves in a net of creativity,
Silently the senses drift from reality.
Trying to find the words that I have never said or wrote,
Before I leave--nothing left but people's memories & pictures,
Or will the I be like the leaves I don't possess?
Here then gone the next moment.
Dismal like a black circle in a squared white room.
Assume, I failed the mission of life,
Or did I go out with a big bang that making the world theorize?
Because sometimes I feel all I have is a pen and paper,
While my heart remains lying against my sleeve, but distant like the frostbitten mountains outlining the horizon.
Eyes glued to destiny.
Those eyes on the page.
That look at me in happiness, but also rage.
in mourning, but also chipper.
Summoning me in the morning, but also the evening.
My world is my stage, and either way I have to perform.
But will I be a actor or will I be real?

Because the eyes you don't see, but you hear,
you don't feel them, but you feel me,
you don't know me, but you do.

Shrieking white noises in my earlobes, vibrating my veins,
Like a distorted T.V. with a blend of colorful & dull lights projecting across my face.

Blinking.

Flickering the V.H.S. tapes of the past.

Blinking like the eyes on the page.

In Loving Memory

Remembering your face for the last time before departing,
Seeing my life crash in slow motion, but almost sudden,
Wiping the tears that stained my cheek, and lifting my overburdened head,
Only five years old, remembering the past like a vivid nightmare,
From this moment on I will not have my brother,
I'll have to walk through my life without him.

Watching me self-destruct my very being and throw my sweet dreams out a broken window,
As I witnessed your heart attack which suffocated the life from your lungs, turning you pale until your heart stopped,
And my best friend, my brother, never saw another day,
Why couldn't you trade me places? Why do I have a healthy heart?
Why couldn't I save you?

Although I will see him again, my heart has never been the same,
Electric fences were built & I remain hidden behind a barricade of memories,
Afraid of relationships, fearful of losing again,
Your face has been carved out of my heart of stone, a sculpture,
As a constant reminder of a loved one I lost.

As for the old Italian man who taught me so much wisdom & maturity-
Your eyes were worn and could only see out of the corners,
Taking tubs of medication to soothe the ammonia inside your lungs,
But still cheerful like a child on christmas morning,
Your partially blind eyes still sparkled with a lively spirit, until one fateful day,
The Lord called him home too.
"Why did my great grandpa have to leave?" My heart still questions...

What ever happened to my cousin's brother Drake?
You were laid back and open-minded, loving everyone even though you didn't know them,
Sharing memories of laughing without a care in the world,
As the cancer infested your bones and swept through your body like a colony of ants,
Eating your insides away to nothing,
Left with your lifeless corpse and the echoes of your happiness.
Why did you have to go?

Though I know I will see you three again my heart still heavy, remembering and left with a bittersweet taste in my mouth,
Forever your closed eyes will hold the memory,
Enclosed in a unfinished letter, unwritten story,
Cut off but will one day see again,
To live the life I was meant to live,
One day, but I won't die with you from the inside out,
Today I won't die a gory death,
For this is in loving memory.

If I Give You My Heart...

There are so many false prophets & anti-christs,
They all disguised like a ballroom mascarade,
Even their eyes don't appear to have color,
Glaring, with no emotion...
Piercing like a bullet to my skin,
The ice is wearing thin,
Time isn't waiting, even when you're dying.
Reckless, relentless, breaking my determination,
The fire smothered until restlessness is all I feel.
Please don't play chords on my heart for the strings are weak,
And my voice is too hoarse to scream let alone speak,
Weeks boomeranging again, with a constant cycle,
Expecting to get better the next time around,
This poem contains my heart, each word is yours,
It is the most precious thing I have,
I give it to you,
I know we will fight & maybe see the darker side,
But if we confide in each other like a invincible fortress,
Where the cannonballs of life won't even knock on our door...
And we are the only soldiers standing ready to fight.
For words are our weapons, stronger than anything.
But it's up to you,
Committing, even when the smoke clears-
Would you give your words to me?
Would you give me your heart?

Lively Hands

There are hands that move around,
With sounds that tick then tock,
Every man will fall to this,
Every second we will eventually miss.
Those lively hands rotating in circles,
The sands of life's hourglass streaming away,
Time ticking away, we can't get back,
Today is the day,
To say all the words you want to say,
As time melts away; fast like a ice cube in a microwave,
You can save all the money in the world,
But you can't save time,
You get one life, once chance to shine,
Choose to be a star or maybe become the sun,
But one thing is for certain, your time will come,
When your time is done, and they close the curtain.

Robot equals Human

Everyone now a days has such a skeptical point of view,
Hiding behind a wall of uncertainty from everything they knew,
But there are the very few that stand unshaken to negativity,
The news seems to only tell of only the bad news, with a chance of clear skies,
Our world is infested with flies but it doesn't mean we need to exaggerate the story,
So what happens when all the positive is gone?
There will be no rags to riches, And no fame or glory,
Fashionable to be pessimistic with no song...
when everything is wrong, No happiness.
Just robots as the majority, more than human, with circuits tangled like knotted spagetti,
Soon our young will be store bought then mangled to the truth,
Counterfeited lies, Finding out that we are disguised as life,
Realizing that the tools we carry are our antagonist, our knife,
Sold for parts then shipped off to a land, as we notice we're artificial,
Told to focus, but programmed to fail,
Assuming the worst from the start,
To find that we lost what makes us human, Our heart.

Closer (Continued)

Kane Nomed was Ezekiel’s roommate and best friend, they are inseparable which causes them to never capitulate even in the harshest times. They both woke up in their pretty messy dorm room which was more like an apartment. It had more than enough space; with a kitchen, bathroom, living room, and bedroom to share. First, Ezekiel woke up with his eyes blurred from the light gleaming through the window behind the television like a ray of fireflies. Eyes shut tight to avoid contact but sluggishly struggling to lift himself from the couch because his arms were still weak and his legs still numb. So he rolls his body off the couch onto the ground almost on their dog Rocky which was ironically a Boxer Terrier. His nerves crawled up his spine like army ants as the numbness evaporated and he arose with the sun then made his way towards the bathroom. He took a quick glance at the mirror then brushed his teeth. And washed his face that had only one small pimple on his forehead, which never really irritated him unless he focused on it.
Kane then appeared in the mirror which Ezekiel saw in his peripheral vision. It gave him a startle and Kane a chuckle as Ezekiel reacted.
Kane then blurted out: “Skittish much?”
Ezekiel replied angrily: “No, but you sure sneaked up on me.” While slugging Kane in the arm.
Kane didn’t budge. Didn’t even flinch. His arm was rock solid just like the rest of his body. He was definitely uglier than Ezekiel but he stronger too. Ezekiel then ignored his friend who was now exiting the room.
Ezekiel snap and pointed: “That’s right just turn walk away.” He smirked at his own tasteless humor as he finished his business in the bathroom. Kane just kept walking until he got to their room and got dressed. Ezekiel slipped on his jeans that he folded the day before and then threw on his collared black shirt while entering an arm into each sleeve. He strode for the front door, as Kane rampages down the hallway to make it to the door first like two football players in a race to get the ball on a fumble. They both have their hands on the doorknob as they argue immaturely about who won and who didn’t. After they both settle the score, they exit and continue down a long hallway with a bunch of doors; more dorm rooms that look similar to Ezekiel’s and Kane’s.
The hallway of dorm rooms then venture off into a staircase at the end either lead down or up. They both go down and head for the café area of restraunts where they both usually eat breakfast. The place they ate was Elmer’s. They then stormed out the café campus doors towards the other building across the street with full stomach. Ezekiel made it to class fifteen minutes early but Kane made it just on time because he left his Advanced Math book back at their room. Kane showed up and the math teacher at Michigan State College: Mr. Hemington, just before he was going to give his lecture on the quadratic formula and how useful it is.
It was a normal day at Michigan State College just like the day before. It was their last quarter until they graduated from college, Ezekiel going into philosophy and Kane become a police chief. Kane always bragged that he would have the title: Chief Nomed which had a good ring to it. Anyways, the class ended and then the teacher, Mr. Hemington realized three of his best students were missing. Alarmed at this news he tries to search for them.
The teacher asks everyone around the campus the same question: “Have you seen Gil, Drake, and Mary?” while pointing to the attendance list with concern glimmering in his pupils at every answer he got. Some people didn’t know who they were, others said they hadn’t seen them for days, but most just ignored him like they didn’t even hear him. Disturbed at his results, he returns back to his apartment complex a couple blocks down the street as he’s driving he tries to remember the last time he saw his students. Once he arrives home he for the most part forgets the students concluding they probably dropped out and transferred to another college. But then suddenly when he steps into the kitchen he finds his students beheaded on the floor covering it with a pool of blood. Then blood smeared letters on the walls that said: “I’m closer than you think I am.” With yellow stick notes covering the bodies, written in red ink: “Sincerely, Nightmare.” across every one. The teacher panicked and screamed in sheer terror and ran back out the door looking for someone to help him.
Mr. Hemington reached into his pocket anxiously and dialed “9-1-1”.
A female voice answered: “Hello, do you have an emer…?”
Mr. Hemington stutters in anxiety: “H-hello, i-is thi-s-s the the police?”
Female replies calmly: “No, do you need to reach th..?”
Mr. Hemington interrupts and answers: “Yes! Yes! Patch me through to the police please. It’s an emergency!!”
Female says with a slight tone of stress: “Okay, I have to put you on hold in order to…”
Mr. Hemington interrupts again: “Just do it! Fast!”
Mr. Hemington held the phone waiting for a voice to answer, the “jazzy-hold-music” was playing right now. Truth be told, Kane answered the phone (it was his job to write down the incidents and inform the captain).
Kane said with urgency in his voice: “Who is this? And what seems to be the problem?”
“Mr. Hemington, and there is a killer named Nightmare who beheaded three of my students.” As he replied calmer than before; Kane’s voice was a slight relief to this tragedy.
“Mr. Hemington?! This is Kane Nomed, I’ll inform the captain right away!!”
The hold music came on again and time passed by like seasons until finally Kane’s voice came back and he said firmly: “Wait calmly sir, the authorities will help with your dilemma.”

Pain & Sorrow

Two punks that go hand in hand,
knowing these two like the land I live,
The friends I regret having around,
About as discomforting as a hangnail,
Found them and never lost sight of them,
Dying on the inside like a salted snail,
Meant to fail from the beginning.
So I'll have to sail away in this world,
In the world of a fantasy untold,
Sold my heart for someone that left,
And at that moment my world folded,
Sent and went to follow you,
Follow you like a disciple in a world surrounded by false prophets,
The willow tree out back cries when I tell them of my friends,
Pain & Sorrow.
And as I tell it my stories the trunk collapses,
And I am left alone,
No one to hear my voice,
No one to give me a choice,
But I have to live, for my friends Pain & Sorrow.